Hope for the Home – Marriage

Hope for the Home – Marriage

Hope for the Home

God’s plan for marriage

Ephesians 5:31-32

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

The Big Ideas

  1. God designed marriage and has a great plan in mind
  2. The primary purpose of marriage is to reflect God’s glory
  3. It is important to receive your mate as God’s perfect gift for you

Out of the mouth of babes

Gwen age 9: When I get married I want to marry someone who is tall and handsome and rich and hates spinach as much as I do.

Arnold age 6:  I want to get married, but not right away yet because I cant cross the street by myself yet!

Steven age 10:  I want to marry somebody just like my Mother except I hope she don’t make me clean up my room!

Bobby age 9:  Fist she has to like pizza, then she has to like cheesecake, after that she has to like fudge candy, then I know our marriage will last forever!

Top reasons people marry

Love 91%

Companionship 88%

To signify a lifelong commitment 82%

Security for the children 79%

To make a public commitment to each other 77%

Legal Status or financial security 66%

Because of religious beliefs  62%

Response to family pressure 50%

Desire for a special occasion 45%

Many people choose marriage for good reasons yet the divorce rates are still high.

Why?

Some idealize marriage

Others underestimate the amount of effort it really takes to make a relationship work.

With so many marriages failing an increasing number of people are wondering if marriage is even worth the trouble

Maybe we should just live together?  Today may our concept of marriage as believers be based on What God’s concept is not our current culture.

Paul Overstreet songwriter and musician

My concept of marriage was totally distorted because of what I knew of the music industry.  People get married and divorced all the time.  When we got married we talked about it, and because I had been married before and divorced, I wasn’t sure that I could be the husband I wanted to be.  I didn’t trust myself.  When I mentioned that to Julie, I said, well you know, we’ll give it our best, and if it doesn’t work, we’ll go our separate ways.  To that she said, No!  This is it; there is no other one for me.  This is the one, and this is the only one.  And I thought, Wow what a concept.  It was completely new to me that there wasn’t a way out.

Ephesians 5:31 first line, 

1.  For this reason

It could say for this purpose

Or this is the purpose that God has for marriage

The two of you become one flesh and that mystery shows the world my plan of redemption.

Wow marriage is not primarily about you

It is bigger than you

Marriage reflects to the world God’s promise to be with us and to redeem us.

So the ultimate purpose of marriage is to reflect God’s Image

Remember your true identity as a believer in Christ is that you are a Son or a Daughter of the Father

Your marriage reflects the true image or identity of the Father

Marriage is more than a device to suit your own needs; it exists for a much bigger purpose.

Dave Harvey said:  Marriage is embedded in the culture as a gospel testimony that is always making statements.  The only question is whether it is a good statement or a bad one.

5 things to know about marriage

  1. Marriage is not about you.  It is not about your happiness and self fulfillment.  It is not about getting your needs met.  It is about going through life together and serving God together and serving each other.

2.  One of the first painful lessons of marriage is to learn that you are both very selfish people.  This is impossible to perceive prior to your wedding.  (Small Pizza).  This is a true statement and it usually catches everyone off guard in the first years of marriage.

3.  The person that you love the most is also the person who can hurt you the deepest.  That is the risk and pain of marriage.  The beauty of marriage is working through your hurt and pain and resolving your conflict and your problems.

4.  You can’t make it work on your own.  It is obvious that marriage is difficult.  To make marriage last for a lifetime, you need to rely on God for the power, love, strength, wisdom, and endurance that you need daily.

5.  Never stop enjoying each other.  Always remember that marriage is an incredible gift to be enjoyed.  

Ecclesiastes 9:9

Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun.

God created marriage and designed it with a specific purpose and plan.

But ignoring his design leads to chaos, confusion, pain, and suffering.

Music also has a design by which a composer creates a piece of music.

Ignoring that design makes horrible noise.

2.  So lets see His plan

Genesis 2:18-24

And the Lord God said, “ It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: “This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Receiving your spouse

He brought her to the man

She is a gift from God

Receiving your spouse means more than accepting him or her it means to embrace the God given differences he’s built into each of you.

It means remembering everyday that moment that you joined together at the altar.  You are a gift to each other.

Your spouse is not your enemy

You must surrender to the the love of of God that holds no record of wrong

Receiving one another is a daily choice.

Leaving Cleaving and Becoming One

Leaving: means to shift loyalties from your parents to a new set of loyalties with your spouse.

Leave in the first marriage ceremony 

The word leave has the idea of abandoning or leaving behind

A husband and wife are called to establish a new home and a new family allegiance.  

Cleaving: is a permanent relational bond, like to metals melted together to form a new alloy.  The union of two people in marriage is so strong.

The word cleave is to stick to adhere to.  Jesus said it this way what God has joined together let no one separate.  

Becoming One Flesh:  Just as Adam and Eve were united in their flesh Paul tells us to love our wives as our own flesh.  

Completing the picture of His purpose

I must receive my spouse as God’s perfect gift for me

I must choose to believe that my spouse is not my enemy

I must renew my commitment to the permanency of marriage

I affirm that the primary purpose of my marriage is to reflect the Glory of God.

Thornton Wilder from The Skin of our Teeth

I didn’t marry you because you were perfect.

I married you because you gave me a promise.

That promise made up for your faults.

And the promise I gave you made up for mine.

Two imperfect people got married

And it was that promise that made the marriage

And when our children were growing up 

It wasn’t the house that protected them

And it wasn’t our love that protected them

It was that promise.

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