Hope for the Home- Love that is instep

Hope for the Home- Love that is instep

Hope for the Home

Love that is instep

Ephesians 5:22-26

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,

Verse 32

This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

The Message

Ephesians 5:22-26 and 32

Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church— This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all.

This is a love that is in step!

The Big Ideas

  • God designed different responsibilities for men and women in marriage.
  • Though our responsibilities are different, men and women are still of equal value.
  • God calls men to sacrificially love and lead their wives.
  • God calls women to respect and support their husbands.

Why are marriages out of step?

1.  Role confusion

Culture has created a gender bender when it comes to roles and responsibilities in a marital relationship

2.  Someone has to take the lead in a relationship

3.  Many couples begin marriage with a 50/50 approach to the relationship

Reasons the 50/50 plan is destined to fail

  1. Acceptance is based on performance

for many people performance becomes the glue that holds the relationship together, but it isn’t really glue at all.  It is more like velcro.  It seems to stick but it comes apart when pressure is applied.

2.  Giving affection is based on merit

With the meet me half way 50/50 approach.  A husband would give affection to his wife only when he felt she had earned it.  She in turn would lavish affection and praise only when she felt he had earned it.

3.  Motivation for action is based on feeling

As a newlywed it’s easy to act sacrificially because the pounding heart and romantic feelings fuel the desire to please but what happens when those feeling fade?  If you don’t feel like doing he right thing, perhaps you won’t do it at all.

4.  Rejection is based on focusing on weakness

One spouse often focuses on how the other spouse is not doing his or her half.  Both constantly fall short of halfway because each person defines the halfway point differently.

Equal value, different roles

We all have many different roles in life

  • Dad
  • Grandpa
  • Son
  • Work
  • School
  • Church
  • Sports

Today is what is we call Championship Sunday

Everyone must do their job today if they want to go to the Super Bowl

Dennis Rainey the President of Family life ministries said

“When two people are on a horse, one of them has to be in front.”

Defining the Husbands role

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

1.  A husbands privileged role is to Love his wife as Christ loved the Church

2.  To do this he has to know his wife, pay attention to her, nurture her, cherish her.  Study her what make her tick?

Ephesians 5:29

For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

3. Called to be the head of his wife just as Christ is the head of the church

Ephesians 5:23

For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church;

What does headship mean?

  • The man must sacrifice himself
  • His needs
  • Desires
  • Dreams
  • For the sake of his family
  • Headship also means that the man has the burden of of taking the initiative and moving things forward.

Crawford Loritts said, “My role is to make my wife great!”

What is a Woman’s role in marriage?

Elizabeth Elliot in Let me be a Woman

The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian.  But the fact that I am a Christian does make me a different kind of woman.  For I have accepted God’s idea of me, and my whole life is an offering back to Him of all that I am, and all that He wants me to be.

  1. A Helper

Psalm 121:1-2

I will lift up my eyes to the hills— From whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.

John 14:16-17

And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever— the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.

Let that change your view of what a helper is.  God said He is a helper

Helping involves

  • A willing followership
  • That comes alongside her mate

2. Respect

Ephesians 5:33

Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

No more powerful attitude that a wife can have towards her husband than respect.

3.  Cheer him on

Wife’s are called to encourage their husbands to lead their families well.

Most men’s greatest fear is fear of failure

And their deepest need is the confidence to know that they can succeed

The kind of confidence only a wife can provide

4.  Submitting

Submission means following leadership

Biblical submission does not violate the personality that God has given a woman, but calls her to live out her personality to its fullest as God intended.


  1. I will seek to follow God’s design, rather than the cultural definition of marriage

2.  I choose to honor my spouse as equal in value, and yet to also esteem the way God has designed him or her differently from me.

3.  As a Husband I will strive to lead my wife lovingly and sacrificially.

4. As a Wife I will strive to respect and support my husband,


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